Borderline Punishment and Revenge on Loved OnesCounselor, Life Coach and author, A.J. Mahari has an Ebook available called, Punishment and Revenge In Borderline Personality Disorder – The Unmastered Talionic Impulse In BPD – What Loved Ones Need To Know. This Ebook includes 5 chapters and 161 pages of illuminating information offered through Mahari’s inside out awareness of the various aspects and issues that make up the foundation of the manifestation of the punishment and revenge that many borderlines seek against their loved ones.

In this in depth ebook, A.J. Mahari masterfully explains how and why those with Borderline Personality Disorder punish others and seek revenge on those closest to them. Mahari gives the loved ones of those with BPD an inside out understanding of punishment and revenge in BPD.” — Joan Van Vork, M.S.W.

This ebook also features:

  • 7 Illusions That Guide the Borderline False Self to punish others
  • The Karpman Drama Triangle and Cycles of BPD punishment
  • The Child/Victim Archetypes & BPD Punishment and Revenge
  • 20 Foundational Keys of The Talionic Impulse For Revenge in BPD
  • Freud’s Myth of the Primal Horde as relates to BPD Punishment
  • The 15 most common elements in Borderline Punishment Cycle
  • How Borderlines Punish – 7 Common Questions
  • Why Borderlines Punish – 7 Common Questions

For anyone with Borderline Personality Disorder, this ebook may also be helpful for you. However, you need to know that you can cope well with reading a lot that could be triggering. There is a lot that many with BPD can learn from the insight that A.J. Mahari shares about her own journey from being a person with BPD (she recovered in 1995) who had unmastered and unregulated talionic impulses to someone who learned in her recovery that it was much more important to lay down the struggle for power in the face of powerlessness. Mahari also learned, as she talks about in this ebook, that to recover from BPD one has to make a conscious choice to want something – something very precious – way more then they want or need to be or feel right. Much more important than remaining focused on the injustices suffered.


Who is your loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder – really? Does he or she sometimes act kind or caring and then on a dime, out of nowhere, either rage or disengage, detach, and give you the silent treatment? Does he or she emotionally and verbally punish you with verbal abuse? Does your loved one have a very low frustration tolerance for any frustrated want or need? Does your borderline loved one have to be right? Is he or she incapable of being disagreed with? Does he/she gaslight you? Are they projecting their feelings or behavior or words onto you – telling you that you are doing to them exactly what they happen to be doing to you at a given time? I recovered from BPD in 1995. I know all-too-well what the inside of punishing from a Borderline perspective actually truly is and why it is. I also know that when one is in the active throes of untreated BPD they do not have insight into how they punish or why and they truly do believe that you, the loved one, is doing it to them. That is because they are emotionally triggered and in a dissociative way they are now experiencing you, the loved one, in the here and now, as a wounding parent or a person who they were or perceived they were hurt and abandoned by. In a person with BPD’s triggered emotional dysregulation – they do not really see you, in the here and now. It leaves you as the target for this abuse and the person with BPD has no insight (or rarely unless in helpful therapy) that you are actually you. It can be very distressing and devaluing to any loved one not being seen for who they are or being treated abusively and often confused as to why or what just happened. 

It is very common for those who are non-personality disordered to be very confused by this alternating punishment/revenge/rage/anger/silent treatment and then “okayness” or calmness and relative civility. It leaves loved ones exhausted, feeling lost to themselves often, frustrated, hurt, and in some cases feeling like maybe they are losing their minds. Many wonder if the person in their lives with BPD is actually two or more people because the attitudes and behavior displayed in the all-bad side of the splitting cycle are so mean, cruel, often abusive, and so unlike who they thought their loved one was or who they still hope the loved one really is.

Is it his or her way or the highway? Is it his or her way or cycles of punishment and revenge? Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells? Do you feel damned if you do and damned if you don’t, confused if all goes well and confused when it all goes to hell in a handbasket in a heartbeat?

If you can relate to these questions this is a must-read ebook for you. Mahari’s latest ebook will give you the understanding of how and why your loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder can be so punishing off and on again and how and why he or she may well seek revenge against you for slights, invalidations, and the like that you have little to no idea the origin of or reasons for.

Punishment and Revenge In Borderline Personality Disorder – The Unmastered Talionic Impulse In BPD – What Loved Ones Need To Know. This ebook will play an important role, not only in your understanding borderline punishment and revenge but also it will be a catalyst for you to seek the change that you need in yourself to reclaim your own emotional peace and to free yourself from the confusion that drives so much pain and suffering for the loved ones of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder.

© Phoenix Rising Publications and A.J. Mahari, exclusively, November 28, 2009-2016 – All rights reserved. Up-dated September 25, 2016.